I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
