have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
