I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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