how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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