Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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