I need to stop coming to work sober
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
