I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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