I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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