I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
