I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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