What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
