I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
