no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
