So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
