oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
