ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
