This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
