Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
