There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
