"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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