Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
