is your mom at the bar?
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
