I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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