Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
