God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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