wrigley field is MILF paradise
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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