I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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