The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
