No awkward lesbian experiences without me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
How external is "for external use only"?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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