we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
