the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
