Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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