awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
