Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I want a musical about memes.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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