And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We have so much sex to catch up on
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
