I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
