That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
