Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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