Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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