Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
