Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's blow job season.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
