I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
