omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
