My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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