VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
