How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
