Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
