She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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