Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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