Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
