i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
