okay pat passed out under dana's car
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
