I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
