I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
