I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
