I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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