I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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