Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
