I wanna bring you to show and tell
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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