the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize