He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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