I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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