its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
