I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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