I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
