PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
