YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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