2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
