I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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